Welcome to "Stewardess Rants & Raves" – a blogging vent sessions based on my bizarre life as a flight attendant. Read about how I deal with the general public in one of the most stressful situations – air travel. Please forgive me in advance for my sarcasm.
Scenario: Typical flight, I am taking beverage orders. I get to a mom and her daughter (about age 6). Trying to get them something to drink…
Me: "Anything to drink for you?"
Mom answers: "She’ll have a Dr. Pepper, I’ll have a Coffee."
Me: "Sorry, we don’t have Dr. Pepper."
Mom: "Then you MUST have Root Beer." ("We MUST?" Are they an equal trade or something?)
Me: "Sorry, we actually don’t" (oh no… here goes…)
Mom: "HUFF PUFF ARGH. Unbelievable!!!" (she has a mini break down)
And here is what I am thinking… probably slightly shown through my facial expressions, which I have a hard time keeping to myself…
Okay lady… REALLY?!?
First, your daughter probably shouldn’t be drinking those insanely sugar drinks in the first place. She looks like she is in kindergarten. Nor should you be drinking coffee, you’re too intense as is!
Second, do you really think it is worth freaking out on me for not having 2 drinks (Dr. Pepper or Root Beer) available? From my understanding, most airlines don’t have either of those options. Not to mention, your daughter doesn’t even look slightly concerned about getting a drink at all. She is sitting there with her DS Game Player – totally zoned out – and hasn’t even looked up once!
Third, if you would have listened to our 5 minute announcement we JUST made about the beverages that ARE available, we wouldn’t be having this dumb conversation in the first place. We already pointed out the entire drink menu and told you the list was located in TWO locations in the seat pocket in front of you. How about being proactive about your drink requests?
Finally her mini break down is over, and she finally responds.
Mom: "Fine! What DO you have THEN??" (spoken in snottiest voice ever)
I proceed to list off EVERY single non-alcoholic drink we have available in the main cabin. That is 20 drinks total. "Cranberry, Apple, Orange, Tomato…." And what happens next? After I’m done listing ALL the beverages (and wasted 2 minutes of my life)…
Mom: "I guess she’ll just take a coffee too."
So despite my horror, I begin pouring a coffee for her much-too-young to drink coffee child. As I am doing so, she ever so non-politely demands for cream and sugar too.
Of course you do lady. Of course you do.
Conclusion: People need to chill out. NO need to cry over spilled milk, actually we have milk. Did your daughter want that?
Disclosure: I want to let you in on a little piece of my life, and this is why I am starting this feature. I hope you enjoy my stories… with a grain of salt of course! My travel stories are in no way a reflection on my employer.